Answers to Clients’ Top 5 Questions

I get so nervous before a speech - how can I avoid this?

Everyone seems to think they are alone in this regard.  I hear people say, “My colleague is so smooth and public speaking comes so easily to him/her.”  No, your colleague gets nervous before a speech too.  It’s important to know that everyone gets nervous and everyone has fear.  What you are feeling is common to everybody who has to give a speech.  The key is learning how to relax.  This includes:  conscious breathing, making a concerted effort to connect and communicate your ideas with your audience (What is it that you want to tell them?  How can you help them?) and being “present.”  Most people with great fear are thinking or worrying about things that are not actually happening.

What is the best way to start my presentation?

Beginnings are critical. You want to involve the audience right away. You want to connect with them as soon as possible. Some do this with an engaging short story that leads right into their topic. Some use humor. Whatever your method, make sure that it is in-line with who you are and what you do naturally. The key is to connect with your audience and attract interest in your presentation immediately.

What’s the best way to handle Q&A?

Listening.  Somebody is asking you a question because they have a concern.  You really need to listen to what they’re asking and understand what their concern is.  The worst feeling a person asking a question can come away with is that you either didn’t address their concern or avoided their question to suit your own needs and goals (Politicians do this all the time and frustrates us to no end.)  Q&A is an opportunity for your audience members to express a point of concern or curiosity, not to further your agenda.

What about confrontational Q&A questions?

Yes, these situations come up all the time.  Either because the audience member is genuinely frustrated or perhaps they (unfortunately) are trying to trip you up.  The key here is to never go “there.”  Bring them to you.  Remember, you are always in control – always.  Sift through their frustrations to get to the heart of their concern, and address it.  Acknowledging them often diffuses the situation.  For example “I hear your frustration and I’d like to address your concern and help you if I can.”  Ultimately, people want to be heard and recognized.

I know I shouldn’t say “um” or “er” but are there other things to avoid when speaking?

I think this is one of the most misunderstood areas in public speaking.  I’ve often heard Presentation Skills teachers address this topic and offer a list of things not to say.  One teacher actually said to avoid the word “basically” when giving a speech.  To me, this is bad advice.  The worst thing you can do is approach a speech with a mental checklist of things to avoid (“Don’t say ‘um’, don’t say ‘basically’, don’t cross my arms…”).  This is the easiest way to trip yourself up and contribute unnecessarily to nervousness.  The need for a checklist of “things not to do or say” is a public speaking myth.

Obviously consistent “ums” and “ers” would be a distraction, but so would any word used repeatedly.  Nobody should give an entire speech with their arms folded, but what’s wrong with naturally resting your arms in a crossed position at one point during a speech?  Nothing.  Just don’t keep them there forever.  The most important concept here is that if you are relaxed and connected to your material and to your audience, you won’t hold any tension (which is what people are doing when they hold their arms crossed for long periods of time) or repeat words over and over (you don’t do this in normal speech, do you?)  Avoid the “checklist” and be yourself.

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